Will I Get Fat Again??

That question is constantly on my mind - 24/7 every time I take a bite of food, every time I get up in the morning and weigh myself and every night when I go to bed.  Now it becomes a brain issue - my weight is pretty darn close to where I want it, I have started eating some other foods and my weight stays the same, so I think I am over the hurdle and I can let my guard down a bit.  Do I mean I can scarf down a bag of chips or a pizza?  Hell no, never again - but I need to be able to eat a small portion of rice, or drink a smoothie and not freak out about what its doing to me.  So that's my new issue is to try and get my brain wrapped around the fact that I did this and now I just need to maintain it.  I'm not being over confident when I say that Im pretty darn sure I will never gain this weight back again - I will just not let it happen.  Getting dressed every day is so FUN again - I am wearing clothes that I haven't fit into in a year - they are all brand new and its so exciting to see how great they look now.

Its amazing what happens to my self confidence now that I'm looking better and getting compliments all over the place.  Yesterday at the gym a girl I see there sometimes came up to me as I was doing pushups off the stability ball and she said "I just have to tell you woman to woman - your ass looks amazing right now."  That just totally made my day to hear that from another female.  Compliments like that make you walk a little taller and smile a little brighter, thats for sure.
Today has been one of my bad days as far as scheduling my food and I feel stressed tonight about it but I have to say - Sarah, nothing bad has happened, I am fine, this day was fine.
I was out on the road and running errands all day today and I didn't plan properly and planning is the key to eating healthy.  I would normally take a baggie of carrots and chicken with me on a road trip for an afternoon snack and I didn't.  As well when Im in my car I never drink enough water because the problem of having to pee every 30 minutes becomes an issue.
So today I left the house shortly after 900am to head to Port Huron to my UPS box and to do a little shopping at Target.  I had bare bones groceries in the house (another amateur mistake on my part) so I made a small fat free plain greek yogurt, frozen peaches and flaxseed smoothie as my breakfast.  A very healthy breakfast but I'm really trying to stay away from dairy and fruit as much as possible.  Fast forward to the rest of my day.  After getting to Port Huron, running my errands and picking stuff up it was 1215p so I headed to my favourite Ruby Tuesdays for their salad bar.  I love it because I can make a huge salad of romaine and spinach, peppers, cukes, carrots - have to use their low fat dressing so again, that part is not on my plan - no salad dressing.  So I had that for lunch but oh no, I didn't stop there - I also had a small portion of the queso and chips - that is my fav treat at Ruby Tuesdays.  Chalk it up to a cheat.  I didn't have a problem with that - having a cheat once every 2 weeks isn't going to kill me and quite honestly it keeps me going and motivated.  My problem is that after that I spent the rest of the afternoon in the car, down on Richmond St, picking up some of my new Spring pieces at Fisher, then getting my nails done.  I finally hit the grocery store close to 500pm and home by 530pm.  So no snack today - bad, bad, bad....I wasn't starved by supper but I was pretty hungry and that can lead to bad choices.  I made Tom and the kids my homemade spaghetti sauce with fusilli noodles and I didn't touch that.  I heated up some of my leftover homemade chicken noodle soup from last night (great), had a portion of chopped up leftover cold chicken (great) and about 5 whole wheat crackers with cheese (not great, not terrible, but not on my plan).  Its now 800pm and I'm only on my 4th glass of water today so I have a lot of water drinking to get in - I try for a minimum of 8-10 glasses per day.  So I'm way behind.  So it wasn't my best day but it wasn't like I was scarfing down tons of unhealthy stuff.
Tomorrow is going to be a fun day.  I have step class at 900am - love my Saturday morning step.  Then I'm taking Avah and her cousin Abbie to my spa for a girls spa afternoon for Avah's birthday - mani's, pedi's, facials and feathers in their hair, followed by a trip to Prince Al's diner for milkshakes (of which I will just enjoy a sip of Avahs).  Then home for a great dinner of simple bbqd chicken breasts, roasted broccoli in coconut oil and wild rice for the family and quinoa for me.