Thursday

So where do I start today??  I want to start off with a quick paragraph about me.  I'm 37 years old, married to an amazing man with 2 gorgeous children - Avah who is 7 and Jack who is 5.  We live in a beautiful home in London, I work here and there are various jobs and I still feel like even at the age of 37 that I"m discovering who I am.  My focus today will be on my body and what has happened to me.
I was that girl growing up that was tiny  and I mean tiny.  Like 100lbs in high school and college and pretty much until around age 25 or so.  I could eat what I wanted, I was very active, I figure skated all my years growing up, I exercised, I loved to dance, ride my bike etc....In my early twenties I became Can Fit Pro certified and began teaching kickboxing and other fitness classes 2 and 3 times a week and loved it.  Then I moved to London, got married and started on the baby train.  Turned out the baby train took us 2 years of fertility drugs, 4 rounds of IVF with nothing to show except for frayed nerves, stress and an additional 25 or pounds.  The just before I turned 30 we found out we were able to adopt our baby girl Avah and less than 2 years later we adopted our son Jack and by age 32 I had the perfect world.  Only, it turned out to be not so perfect when I developed a raging case of post adoption depression (and yes there is such a thing).  All of a sudden the happy go lucky girl that I had been for 30 years was gone and instead was left with this shell of a woman that didn't know how to be a parent and for that matter didn't know if she wanted to be a parent.  Fast forward a few rough years, things got better and then they got worse again and I finally went to my doctor and found out that I was borderline bipolar - a prescription for an antidepressant and an anti anxiety pill later and I was a new woman.  A different woman, a woman that has to work every day at being happy and confident and scheduled and not too crazy.  At the age of 36 I found myself at close to 140lbs from a combination of laziness with exercise and nutrition, remnants of too many hormones from all that IVF and weight gain from the antidepressant - enough to make me depressed again right?
In March of 2011 I joined Herbal Magic and was determined that I was going to get back to the old Sarah.  It was hard - I lost weight and got to about 127lbs and looked great but as with any weight loss program it was not to be and I gained it back.  I spent most of fall 2011 and winter 2012 ignoring what I knew was happening to me again but only worse.
In the spring I met one of the most influential people in my life and I thank god for her every day.  Mrs Rita Catolino, trainer at Goodlife, but not just any trainer.  This woman had also gone through what I had been through, the ups and downs and 5 years ago got her shit together and never turned back.  She is an amazing role model.  So I plunked down a crazy amount of money in June for 6 months of training with her and I haven't looked back.  I was at my heaviest when I started with Rita and just totally disgusted in myself - just bordering on 150lbs.  After a summer of ups and downs and much learning from Rita not just fitness but so much about my body and how it works and how EAT CLEAN is the only way to live I have found a new Sarah.  I no longer want the old Sarah - I will never be 125lbs again and nor do I want to be.  I want to be 135lbs, I want to wear my designer clothes with pride and look fabulous and most importantly I want to be healthy and a good role model for my daughter.  So with all that in mind as of today I am down to 142lbs.  My goal with Rita is to hit 140lbs by Oct 21st.  It is a battle for me every second of the day because you see I LOVE POTATO CHIPS - I crave them, I am addicted to them and I can't give them up no matter what I have tried.  So in my posts you will see my struggles and what I do and that I live the 80/20 rule - 80percent healthy and 20 percent not so much and I am happy with that.  Here is my weekly workout schedule and it's a biggies:
Mondays - 45 minute step class followed by 1 hour with Rita where she focuses on low weights, high reps, constant movement.
Tuesdays - 1 hour pilates reformer - I am a certified pilates instructor and its my passion - I love it and my body responds amazingly well to it.
Wednesdays - 1 hour with Rita
Thursdays - 1 hour pilates reformer
Fridays - 2 hours ladies tennis at the University
Weekends off - walks with my family, take it easy.

Today here is what I have done and this is basically what my blogs will look like from now on:
Up at 740am to get the kids ready and off to school.
830am - my morning shake which is diet cranberry juice, 2% plain greek yogurt, a banana, frozen strawberries and peaches and a spoonful of flax seed.
900a - hourlong workout with Rita and by the end I am shaking - she is a tyrant my girl.
1030am - protein shake which is just a scoop of my chocolate protein and about 3 ozs of water.  I also drink about a glass of water while workout out.
From then until my lunchtime I ran errands, dry-cleaning, alterations etc...
100pm - lunch and my most difficult meal of the day where I generally eat potato chips.  Today I had a salad plate that I make with chopped chicken, 2 hardboiled egg whites, chickpeas, green, red and orange peppers, cucumber and some swiss cheese topped with a sprinkle of olive oil and balsamic.  I also had regular ruffles potato chips with it and a diet pepsi.
For the after I am at home today on my computer (obvi) going over my calendar, emailing people, doing some travel stuff for clients, pretty easy day.  Meeting with Avahs teacher at 330pm.  I have consumed 3 more glasses of water while sitting here and peed twice since 100pm.
I will have an apple in about 30 minutes and a handful of cashews.
For supper tonight its just the kids and I  and I'm making tacos.  I eat my tacos veggie style so mine will have lettuce, tomato, green pepper, some low fat cheese, a tiny bit of low fat sour cream and I will eat two of them.  I no longer make rice with my tacos.  I will still have another 3-4 glasses of water today.  If I need a snack tonight I will have popcorn.

SO thats my day in a nutshell.  Tune in tomorrow if you are interested and if no one reads this Im fine with that too - this is basically my diary and my way of being accountable.

S