Frustrated....

So I'm frustrated today on so many levels and this is what my journey is all about - the highs and lows.  First of all I get an email from my youngest sister last night who is now about 8 weeks post partum with her third baby in 3 years and the email is very excited and tells me what her weight is (and which is about 20lbs less than mine).  Now let me first say, of course I am thrilled for her, 3 babies and she looks like a million bucks.  But I can't help but think to myself how is this possible and how is this fair?  She gives birth 3 times, doesn't really ever work out, she eats healthy but she bakes like a mad woman and eats it and manages to lose all this weight.  I work my ass off at the gym and anytime I put something even somewhat bad in my mouth it goes right to my hips and ass.  How is this fair?  I know we are all built differently and I'm shorter and curvier and I have to embrace my curves, but frig....I just throw up my hands some days and go really???? is it all worth it?

The second part of my frustration is my own damn fault and it really proved a point to me.  I went to a London Club ladies event last night - a wine tasting event.  60 ladies and wine - dangerous combination....so damn fun.  We were served 4 different wines and when we were told that,  my friend and I looked at each other and said "shit, we should have taken a cab, what were we thinking?"  Luckily 3 of the 4 wines were red which I detest so I ended up having a Cosmopolitan to start and then a glass of white.  Phew...no hangover today thank god.  Once the wine tasting was done it was close to 800pm and then they had a dinner that you could stay for with a little menu of items to choose from.  I started with the caesar salad because theirs is the best in London.  I ate half and pushed the rest away.  For entrees the choices were salmon (hate), 8oz steak but it wasn't filet and I'm really fussy on my steak, I think a chicken dish (I never get chicken at a restaurant because I eat chicken every single day at home) and the last dish was a pasta which of course I zoomed right into.  Now I haven't really eaten a meal of pasta in - well I don't remember the last time and this is coming from the woman that made pasta at least 3 times/week.  Now when I do make a pasta dish, I make just one and its the smart noodles with fresh tomatoes, fresh basil, garlic and olive oil.  Delish.  But that has become a treat that I make maybe once or twice a month and I always combine with with chicken on my plate so that my portion is small - but I digress.....
So back to last nights pasta.  Turns out it was these amazing homemade almost lasagne looking noodles - the freshest pasta that has ever crossed my lips, with tomatoes, garlic in a rose sauce.  Nothing healthy or good about that dish.  I ordered it and ate half of it but I could easily have eaten the whole plateful.  It was like heaven on my lips I will say, HOWEVER as we got up to leave I noticed something.  All of a sudden, I wanted my bed, I was lethargic, my pants felt tight.  I got home and I HATED the way I felt and I realized hey, I haven't felt this way in a long time and I HATED it.  I realize how when I eat protein and veggies at my meal how much better I feel afterwards.  And even this morning I am sluggish and lazy.  I am so happy now that we have our reservations at two different steak houses in Vegas and I will definitely stick to my meats and seafood.  Feeling like I did last night didn't even make that fabulous pasta dish worth it AT ALL.

So right now as I type I'm drinking my shake and today while I get laundry done and get packed and organized I will drink a ton of water and try to cleanse myself of last nights mistake.  I'm having my salad plate for lunch with chicken and egg and that will help and for dinner tonight I am making my homemade from scratch chicken noodle soup which is chock full of good stuff.  We will eat that quickly before we leave for the airport.
Here is my soup:
I boil a whole chicken for 1 hour and sprinkle in some pepper.
Remove the pot from the heat and take the chicken out and put onto a cutting board.  Remove the skin and let cool. (this part is kind of gross).  I usually have to fish some bones or skin out of the broth water.
After it cools a bit, I cut all the white meat off and put back in the pot of water.  I add two cups of hot water with two tsps of low sodium chicken broth.  More pepper and just a small shake of salt for flavour.
Simmer for another 45 minutes.
About 30 minutes in I add chopped celery and carrots and most people would also add onions (I hate onions).
Simmer for another 15 minutes.
About 10 minutes before serving add the noodles and I use the no yolk egg noodles.

My kids and husband and I all love it and its filling and delish on a cold night.

So I'm off to Vegas and won't have my laptop so I will be back in the land of blogging on Monday.  Viva Las Vegas baby!!